Why do I keep good intentions as my most valuable secrets? Stashed deep deep deep under all the colours, under all the make up. A different person in the mirror and a different person in rest of the liars eyes. To which reflection shall I invest my beliefs? Beliefs that I am not lazy, that I can be consistent, that my ideas last and that one day I'll reach and get there when my mum doesn't see it, she knows me best.Somehow I must have deserved this love of mine or will I have to make amends for what I've got. Life is a tricky business, makes you pay at the end.
Thinking that I should volunteer my time, to him, my friends and parents, get to know my neighbours, participate and be a part of my community whatever side of the world I am, be more considerate of others needs and more sympathetic to others feelings makes me believe that, yes, there is an angel in me that he sees. But I forget this things. Too easily.
He sent me to buy myself coffee, so I did, and came back to the car. Only then did I remember, he likes his tea in the morning. I didn't even ask if he liked some, I didn't buy it for him, and surprised him, showed him that I do think of him too. No, I forgot. Hows that for being the worst person in the world?
I do envy people to whom comes naturally to care for the others, but then I wish, usher them, to be more selfish. While I am too busy having a good day to be concerned for the happy ending. Its nice to be nice, to be kind-confusing me.
Those kept good intentions make me proud on my own, SELFISH. Just how lucky I must be that I've got him to see the good in me, make me a better person, wanting to be the best for him.
I need be better and I can choose that every morning. Keep my promises anyway. It's that easy-I must remember.
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