Just had one of those loooong loooong showers with hoooot hooot water where you want to wash away everything. Followed by those 20 minutes of staring at your mirror reflection and wandering is that really me?! No thinking, just looking at the person looking back at you. No trying to find flaws but trying not to break the connection. You are naked, but don't feel cold, yet standing all alone. There is a feeling, even if you slept with the whole damn planet, you'll still feel rejected. Then the head movement to the right, physiological and emotional, looking at the picture from a different angle. And if nothing happens after few seconds, you'll tilt your head on the opposite side. Closing you eye lids in order to focus the picture, but now you are looking through the mirror. Trying to see what it is really inside that other person looking back at you.
Then it hits you! You stand up straight, taking a deep breath, your shoulders are going backwards, widening your posture. And if you are a girl, that is the first time you take a moment to appreciate your chest. Putting your hands on your hips, your eyes start scanning down the person in the mirror, while stopping just under your belly button. Taking another deep breath, allowing the O2 to flow to your brain only to acknowledge the awkwardness. Eyes up! Falling into the connection again.
Yet another deep breath. Your guts (read-insides) feel with pride and you decide something. Anything, but you decide. You allow yourself to believe in that decision since it is not after 2am. You stick to that decision. As if you want to prove the person in the mirror wrong! You are determine in it. When you realize it, you want to look at your face, to see yourself looking determine, but you lost it already. That is when you start feeling coldish and decide to dress up.
When this happens, campers, do not go out of that bathroom with the only decision to dress up!
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