HELL'S FASCINATION

As my last day off faded slowly into the dawn of one more Monday, I proudly, did not move from the sofa the whole time, which was the plan, from the beginning.

What kept me amused, apart from the relaxing position of my smokin' body was none the less but the one and only Gordon Ramsay! Boy, the man is something! An arrogant prison management oriented impressive teacher! An amazing cook, the greatest chef.

As I am a very easily fascinated creature, when watching a great tennis match, want to take on a racket and do some swinging with it, few spins here and there. The same is now. Watching him torture his sue chefs, I just want to be in that kitchen, back to back and LEARN.

Learn, having a teacher everyday instead of your shadow. Shadow and ego are left outside the door of the kitchen. Having a person believe in me to push me, to show me I can do perfection. Just a thought of being around someone who's better than me with the biggest passion. That to inspire, to kick me. An opportunity, a must, to try and taste. People making noises while enjoying something I created, from scratch.

A deserved 'Well done guys' from the chef on our way to the bar.

Fascinated!

EASTER

For children, Easter is a special time of the year. In Serbia, where I am actually from, Easter is the third favorite, behind Birthday and Christmas.

On a Saturday evening, a six year old me, would go out in the back yard and gather a full basket of grass. With Dad's help, we would make a perfect nest for Mr Bunny just outside the terrace door. Mr Bunny would come during the night and leave a special egg, which I am supposed to keep in the fridge throughout the whole year, as a house keeper egg and of course, presents.

On a Sunday morning, small Tea would run to the nest and go through the presents and show them proudly to her family. Because, once again, Mr Bunny got me exactly what I wanted. After, everyone congratulating me on my presents, Mum would dress me up and give me a small basket with grass at the bottom of it. All excited, I would go out and meet with other kids at the beginning of the street. Then we would start the most exciting thing of all the Easter traditions.

Armed with baskets, our best cloths and smiles from ear to ear, we would knock on the first door. The neighbor would open and kids in one voice would say 'Hristor Vaskrese' while the host on the door would answer 'Vaistinu Vaskrese'. The host would invite us in the living room, sit us down like the most important guests of the year, serve us tea or hot chocolate and make chit-chat with us. We would sit like adults, with our legs crossed, watching our dresses and cloths not to wrinkle, behaving our best and showing off with our table manners.

After having few biscuits and finishing our tea, the host would bring out their basket with colored eggs (which were painted on the Good Friday before the sun rises) and we would choose the best looking ones. Thank the host for having us and set off to the next door and do that all morning, knocking on every house of the street.

Returning home with 30 or more eggs (5/6 broken due to me swinging the basket), my family would sit around the table and enjoy the richest breakfast of the year, eating it from Grandma's china. During the breakfast those 30 or more eggs come in handy in our egg cracking contest. Everyone chooses the egg that we think it is the strongest and we start crashing each other's eggs. Not crashing exactly, cracking more, head and tale of the egg. The winner egg is put besides the house keeper egg in the fridge. The only part of Easter I do not appreciate is having to eat all the eggs I cracked :(

In the afternoon we would go to our family and friends houses, exchanging eggs and small presents. Going exhausted to bad at around 5pm.

I love all this traditions and have the most wonderful memories of it. It makes me a bit sad that now people would judge me, if I dressed up this Sunday and head off with my basket :) However, I am looking forward to this Easter egg competition!

What are the traditions you enjoy the most?

FROM THE BASE ABOVE

Weird, superstitious, neurotic things I do that have no idea where they came from or why and when I started doing them.

• I always go to bed in socks but take them off just before fall asleep, in order for negative energy to freely leave my body.
• Never, but never do I sleep on the side of the bed which is nearer to the door. No explanation.
• I never leave my arm hanging from the bed, or any other limb, due to the boogie man. Although, can not remember having this issue as a child.
• If possible, I'll try not to pass underneath the scaffolding- bad luck.
• Master in achieving the perfect sugar-coffee-milk ration when making myself coffee, while purposely making BAD coffee for others. They never ask for it again. Smart.
• I text back instantly
• When in the public toilet, have to use exactly three paper tissues to wipe my hands.
• When dressing after shower, have an order in which I put my clothes on, when put something in disorderly fashion, am almost positive something will go wrong with my day. And it usually does.
• When waiting a long time at the bus station, exercising Murphy's law 'Just when you light up your cigarette, the bus arrives'. Works every time!
• Can not smoke if have no drink. Hate the taste of cigarettes.
• Have no banking account- do not trust banks, and no money for that matter, and not sure would remember the pin, since I cannot choose my numbers.
• I never buy anything from internet, do not trust it.
• Can not keep any promises if they are earlier than 11am
• I never finish something I start, drives me crazy.
• When buying tech (TV, lap top, camera) the aesthetic of the object wins. Break easily.
• Scared to buy real stuff (a watch, pair of sunglasses, leather jacket or bag).
• Can not stand the thought of 'Sixth sense' movie being a true story or possibility.
• I cry with every and any movie and I love it.
• Can listen to a song I like 452 times in a raw and drive everybody at home nuts.
• After it, would never hear the song again in my life.
• Won't dye my hair, that would mean I have to take care of it and maintain it.
• Scared of heights.
• Scared of being cold.
• Wear one pair of jeans until they break and tear, perfect fit.
• Always forget to put the perfume, meaning, have to go upstairs when was at the door on my way out. Never crossed my mind just to leave the perfume bottle downstairs.
• When can not decide which movie I want to see, or nothing interesting comes to mind, I'll spend the night watching trailers. After 4 hours of doing it, I would convince myself that something is wrong with me if not movie has any draw for me, and go to sleep as a sign of protest.
• Do not know how to listen.
• Carry dice in my bag, in case I get bored - as if alone I would play with them, and where?!
• When have to make a smart, witty comment- blank. Every damn time.
• Do not know how to receive a compliment.
• Must have a bottle of wine and a jar of Nuttela at home at any given day.
• Eating cereal for dinner. Mum started ignoring it now.

• Why are you weird?

MORNING GLORY

Of course, I do not mean or wish to write a post on that kind of 'morning glory', I am a lady at the end of the day...but you'll never know who I am at the break of dawn. I'll be talking about the movie Morning Glory staring amazing actors and directed by a very talented and visualizer of a director, I am sure.

To start with, I'd like to say how much I liked her sloppiness throughout and her underpenties on her first date with that hot guy. She has my dream job, ok! Not the EP (executive producer), the multitasking part of it. Dealing with things and people daily, that job. But the biggest part, the thing I desire the most in my life, is to do, be in some kind of environment where I can learn and learn every day.

A job where my job will be to do research and background of any imaginable content or on things without content. Where everyday is different due to the information float between the outside world and my coworkers who are inspiring and so talented. That is the job, my dream job, to which I'll wake up happy to go to. From which I won't feel embarrassed of being obsessed and be a proud workaholic.

A job where I must buy and read the newspapers. (only because it is my wish to buy newspapers every morning, over a cup coffee read, if possible, every story, plus do the sudoku, for which I have no time to do now, that I do not have my dream job, and luck of self discipline).

I am going to wake up early tomorrow and buy a newspaper!Almost positive, I'll feel much better and subconsciously nearer to my dream job.

Share with us your 'Morning Glory' dream job.

SUMMER LOVE

So, i set down, after two days of lying down due to my disease (it is not sexual transmitted that I got from the pillow, no) only a damn high fever giving my nightmares and keeping me constantly exhausted!

I set down to pay my promise to PavliStyle and yet write another masterpiece for the section Love & S. The theme for my unbelievable, smart and witty article was....wait for it...wait....SUMMER LOVE...tam tam tam! The process started as it always does. The mouse arrow go on Words and opens a new document, you know, the blank one. The blank things make me second guess everything. As every single time when I am about to create something, something wonderful and impressive, I stare at the blank. Let my mind flow, play with the ideas, play with whatever I can find on the table, floor, bad...you know.

I am staring in a blank document, and staring...thinking of summer love, the smells, the tan, the sea, the parties, the half naked boys, the night swimming tipsy, you know...all the magic. When it started raining! RAINING! And I was about to write all this...not the summer rain,but the grey, cold, depressing rain. Basically, I am out of ideas. So, please, if you have ideas, or wishes that I can discuss in my next Love & S article, leave a comment below, or contact me, via Face Book or my e-mail. Thank you my dear campers.

THE ADJUSTMENT BUREAU

While writing the last word of my title realized how hard is to spell it. Not that spelling is my forte (thank you Google Chrome) but COMMON! Is it French?!

Anyway, what I was trying to say is that I like to question the ideas on which some of the movies are based. I think we all do. Question ourselves and wonder for few seconds or a night about what we just saw. Is it possible? Did this happen to me? What if this concept exist? What if it happens to me? Was that the alien ship that I saw the other day?

Probably it is too obvious, but I just finished watching the movie that goes by the same name as the title of this post (I do not want to write, therefore spell, the last word, coz Chairman forbid I might learn it). In my point of view, the movie exercises the idea of reason and chance (purpose driven accident). Do we all have a destiny that is written in stars (astronomy being one of the oldest sciences and horoscope is based on that science) or in easily washable sand, are we programmed, is there a bigger force? Do we all have a path already chosen for us or are we able to create one self and live by that believe? Karma? Do we believe in science or religion?

The first thing one has to understand that no man will act in prohibitory manner towards its beliefs, whatever they may be. And the second, that there will always be skeptics (even in one self) constantly looking for proof.

I have two theories that were born this very second.

Either we are just living the life, trying to live it, love it, enjoy it, experience it, play, be loved, laugh, see, feel, hear, learn and make friends. Yet when something goes wrong we try to reason it. 'It happened for a reason' 'It's for the best' 'You never know why this will be good' 'One door closes, the other one opens' 'After the storm, comes the Sun' and on and on with the condolences over our mistakes. But one cannot be on top of the game 100% all the time. We get tired, drunk, fall in love...we make mistakes, we do wrongs. Soooo many obstacles and so many opportunities to blame someone else. It is easier this way. I do it. We all do it. Surrounded by the harshness of each day and night trying to make us nobodies. Just getting through the day and yearning for that pillow or a hug.

Or. Everything happens for a reason. Bond to make those mistakes. Meet those exact people in that exact time of our lives and just go on. While all the time being haunted by the inquiry 'What is my purpose?' Deep, and dead on question for all of us.

The way I fight through all this is I try to create, leave something behind, as Banksy does. Whatever that will be. I try to write. I try to write it down. I try to admire and let myself be impressed by other people's creativeness, skills and talents. Other people's music, culture and tradition. Other people's beliefs and life stories. Maybe that is my purpose.

I like it, so I choose to believe it.

Does this even make sense?

If you are the Chairman, mine or your own, do leave a comment.

P.S. I couldn't find a better pic to go with this, and I do not mean it sarcastically, literally, could not find anything to my liking.

CURRENTLY

• I am apologizing for not writing due to the lack of free energy filled time.
• I am apologizing that I am writing this post while waiting for the episode of 30 Rock to stream, and that I watched almost the whole season last night, therefore, being super tired, therefore no inspiration for anything more creative than 'Currently'
• I will accept the apology from a weather guy for lying about my day off being 'partly cloudy' when is actually 'partly sunny'
• I am apologizing to all my friends for not calling and spending my one day off with them and instead staying home with all four in the air
• I am happy that the next week is my week off and will have time for my friends.
• I am proud to announce that for the first time in my life I did not spend my whole pay on the first day of cashing the check
• I am sad that cannot spend my birthday in Madrid :(
• Nothing interesting, creative or inspiring has happened in my life due to the over-work
• Escaping boredom by means of unconsciousness
• Realized that I suck in the 'Truth or Dare' game
• Whiskey gives me a mega hangover
• Not having time to do my pedicure, only painting the edges. shhhhhh!
• Would probably be reduced to death by hunger if drawing was my way of making money. Since it is not, I will keep trying.
• Feeling abused by the nowadays music.
• Subscribed for the first time in me life, and to a GradualReport baby
• Reading- happy
• I promise a post tomorrow!

What are you up to, my dear campers?

WHO ARE YOU NOT?

Once a upon a time, somebody smart said 'only when you accept who you are, and who you aren't will you succeed'.

Not knowing who I am- can round up last few years of my life. Or it even can go back to the first conscience thought of mine or my first memory. Believe me, it's not long time ago. I must not lie, but admit that I actually have a slight idea who I am. However, I still do not know who I am not. That scares me. What am I capable of doing?! Kinda falls in both categories, who I am and who I am not.

I know what I am made of, anatomically, carbon and water, sure. Yet, the learning curve and the experience what you will make out of the two, make something you can be tolerant to live with. Or a higher expectation, therefore increased possibility of disappointment, to be happy with. It is about creation. Mommy and Daddy did they part, it is on you to do something something with it. And here emerges the inquiry of average. Never settle. Even on the bus, do not sit on a first available sit, thats settling for the average, find the best sit, the most comfortable, with the nicest view or near a good looking person.

Through out life we find bits and pieces of ourselves, coming down nicely, like a puzzle. Knowledge and wisdom and random teeth that hurt like hell. Wisdom come from sponging the surrounding and knowledge from experience.

But who are you not? Do you want to find out at all (the good, the bad, the ugly)? Would that make a whole or just make you constantly rearrange your prejudice while thinking? From the historical point of view, it is horrifying to learn what a human being is capable of doing to one another, to one self. Tongue is the organ we should fear the most. That is why no other animal is in any way on the top of the food chain. And, that is what we are not.

Walking contradiction, is who I am. And who I am not, I am not the goddess from the picture.

EVERY NOW AND THEN

Every now and then I have a lovely day! I feel free, i feel the freedom of my thought, like I can do anything I desire. I start liking the randomness. I feel like a sexual being. As if the world opened up to me, to tell me something. Give me a sign. That feeling like the universe will shift, Earth change its orbit round the Sun, all behind the Milky Way something will whisper to me. Uzz (yeah, I just made that word up) me up and open my eyes to see the colors of the spring and give me as big breath to smell the sea and sun in the air. To see the colors of the summer dresses floating the sea side and surf side, slight breeze playing with my hair, tickling my face, making me smile.

I've seen, I've sinned now the smell of summer is making me fall in luv.

ESCAPE LANDS VOLUME II

• SODOR. A fictional railway island between Great Britain and Isle of Man where 'Surdic' is a language. My theory of a origin of this imagination: Since the two brothers built it, they were youngsters playing with their little toy trains, pretending to be conductors and producing weird train noises, or at least the noises they thought trains used to make, while their alcoholic father never lived up to a promise to buy them the Lego train station and the cheap-plastic rails.

• LIDSVILLE. A gay version of Alice in 'Wonderland'. Little Mark falls in a Hat of a magician and lands in a Lidsville- land of talking Hats- alternative to talking, floating cats with horrifying smile. The fun part is that the Hats are personalized by the people who did or would wear them. Cowboy hat would talk and behave as a cowboy. Reminds of a movie 'Golden Compass' and the animal souls. I wonder, which hat would be me. A little green oversized silly hat!

• UTOPIA. Another name would be Plato's Republic. Let your mind wonder and imagine that type of a republic. I'm gonna give you a hint. Utopia means ideal. Go on...

• LILLIPUT. An island next to Blefuscu island from the 'Gulliver's Travels' book. The islands are geographically in the Indian Ocean populated with really small people. Both are empires. Almost how I imagine the other planets and people if there was other life in the universe.

• WESTEROS. This won't be the island like many above, but an actual fictional continent. It is from a story of George R.R. Martin in 'A Song of Ice and Fire'. Why all the heads that write believable fictions and invent fictional languages of fictional lands have double initials inbetween the name and last name? Tolkien, this Martin, Harry Potter lady and many more. Common! Cup of X. X. Thea. Put it this way, this doesn't make it a lesbian blog, does it? I'll think about it... Anywho, Westeros has nothing to do with west, i find. It is divided into seven kingdoms and the north is unmapped due to the ice. Almost like Earth. I imagine a big lake and mountains, and a Coca- Cola factory under the Arctic ice, don't you?

• NEVER NEVERLAND. Is from a Peter Peter Pan. And if you do not know about a happy flying bastard that never grows up, then me and you have nothing anymore to talk about!

• DINOTOPIA. A isolated fictional island where humans and dinosaurs coexist peacefully. My favorite cartoon with pink dinosaurs :) I luuuv it!

• WHERE THE WILD THING ARE. An imagination of a hungry kid. By staring into monsters yellow eyes he becomes a king. I'd be a Hitler in that land there. Not in a way that I would kill all expect the blond monsters, in a way that I would be a dictator. Have those tendencies, or they tell me so (inherited genes from my mother).

And there you go my unicorn lovers. Which are your favorite fantasy dimensions?

UNBEATABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know I promised Volume II of the Escape Lands, but but this is AMAAAAAAAAAAAAZING!!!!!!!!!!!! Djokovic wins once again! Unbeatable man of 2011! I think this is the part where I would put six or more smile faces, but... AMAAAAAAAAAAZING! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D and here they are! Love you Noleeeee!

ESCAPE LANDS

I stumbled across this map. Which is serving as a background image or as I like to call it-an escape. It serves well. Although I started reading from an early age, I never came across children's books. Now I am even wondering why, and see no answer floating anywhere. Probably I should ask Mom, because she was the one standing behind me when I was choosing books from the shelf saying 'That one is not for you, it is for adults, you wouldn't understand. How about this one? I liked it, it is fun.' By this process over and over again, the choices of books where falling in my lap. Back to the map, when I saw it first I was a bit sad not knowing what is what and where, the geography, the history, the story and the characters from each land. So I deliberately decided to do my research as a twenty year old. And here is comes. Enjoy.

• OZ. The land from L. Frank Baum's head which he rather confusingly (for a 8/10)years old explained in 'The Wonderful Wizard of Oz' book. As any land and monarchy, Oz has a West/East/South and North sides and rulers. Inbetween there are all kinds of Winged Monkeys and creatures alike that Little Dorothy with her dog Toto comes across and befriends with some too. Apart from Dorothy, her pat and many creatures that children had probably nightmares of, there is an actual Wizard of Oz. Just an old block that by unknown means came somewhere there in a hot balloon. Spooky! Anywho, the whole story goes how Dorothy wants to go home to a real world, Kansas city, overcoming the obstacles along the way, only to realize that all of it was in vain! Dumb kid!

• NARNIA. A story or a land where for a kid symbolically, good fights the evil and at the end wins, with the last summation going something like 'happily ever after.' Kids being magically transported to this wonderful green land by means of a wardrobe are summoned by the huge lion, asked to help to fight the evil queen. One of the kids is hot. One of the important characteristics of a character in a children's book, and his name is none the other but Prince Caspian. In this land, magic is common, animals talk and there is James McAvoy, very important link between book and the movie. And they say 'Don't judge a book by it's movie'! Nonetheless, my kids will read this one.

• THE MIDDLE EARTH. Actually, I got this books for my 19th birthday or something like that, started reading, but too many of creatures and names and more names, and riddles and equations and and, I did not have a pen and a paper next to me when was reading and just confused as if I was reading a Physics A Level book. But what I know is. This is the land coming from J.R.R. Tolkien's pen. Where wizards, Goblins, Orlando Blooms, Liv Taylers, small people with extremely large feet, trees walking and talking, ring and 'my precious' are trying to restore peace. Probably, if it did not come out at the same time as Harry Potter, would be my favorite.

• WONDERLAND. If it wasn't for Johnny Depp, I wouldn't see it. I never liked the story, and don't know why. And Alice, as a name, sounds a bit sluty, no? A weird girl, falls in a rabbit whole, landing without a scratch. Drinks a poison, becomes little and goes off to meet a floating, talking cat with a horrifying smile. When you summon all the dubiousness of the land, it doesn't seem as Wonderland to me no more. The creatures that tick me off the most are the card soldiers, I just want to do something mean to them. I do not like the story!

• TERABITHIA. Must admit that never heard about the story. But after reading the plot, i liked it instantly. Might as well read it. The land is an imagination of two lonely friends, taking its stand in the woods near their houses. To access the kingdom, where Jess is the king and Leslie the queen, is by a swinging robe over a creek. In their land, they can overcome real-life fears and be happy. When one day Leslie goes alone to Terabithia, the robe breaks, she falls into a creek and drawns. Overcame by grief, her parents decide to leave the place and allow Jess to take anything from their house. Permitted, he builds a bridge in memorial to Leslie. Grieving alone in Terabithia, his favorite sister joins him. There he asks to become a queen of the land and she agrees. Although no body can replace Leslie, Terabithia must have a queen. It's beautiful! :)

• MOOMIN VALLEY. Moomintroll, Sniff, Snufkin, Hobgoblin's Hat, Moomin family, Muscart gets scared, Island of Hattifatteneres, Moominhouse transformed, Moominmamma, cook the huge Mameluke, Thingumy, King's ruby stole from Groke. After a court case. Oh my dear God! The only thing I understood of it all, is a name Bob, cook, huge and court case! Can somebody explain what is going on?! And this is supposed to be for children!!!!!! AAAAh, I'm confused!

• THRA. The only thing I found of this land, is that it was created by Jim Hanson and the land is surround by three suns. The Great Sun, The Rose Sun and The Dying Sun. This, itself, could be an inspiration for you campers, to write your erotic novel for children :)

• HYRULE is the setting for 'The Legend Of Zelda' series. The land is created by three goddess. When their job was done on deciding the rules and forces of the nature in this mysterious land, they departure to the heavens. Living behind three gold triangles containing all they powers and therefore becoming Triforce. On and on and on, I do not know anything about the story, honestly, never heard about. Am I that uneducated or can be forgiven?!

• And now I have to go do something else. Will give you the Volume II of the 'Escape Lands' tomorrow. Stayed tuned. Kisses